That day, I decided to wear a peach colored dress. I was in the mood to prance around in this dress, which knew just how to hug my curves beautifully. The heat was overbearing, the humidity was oppressive and the sun was beating down strong. A perfect day to take a stroll among joyful festival-goers.
Peach dress fitting just right, sunglasses perched on my nose, I headed for adventure…. and by adventure, I mean a walk through the heart of downtown, le Quartier des spectacles (The Entertainment District) in 35-degree heat. In the shade.
But I made the terrible mistake of not putting on deodorant. Oh—not on my armpits… on my thighs, of course!
After a few sways of my hips, the light chafing between my thighs reminded me of my omission.
And that moistness settled in, forming small drops of sweat that slip down my thighs. One by one, I felt the droplets trailing down to my knees.
My thighs were drenched and the pain caused by them rubbing together, in all their voluptuous glory, had become unbearable. In just a few moments, in the blink of an eye, I found myself with the insides of my thighs swollen, bruised, and irritated.
That walk? IM.POSS.IBLE.
My forgetfulness got the best of me. How could it slip my mind? After all, I’m a proud member of the Thick Thigh Tribe, flaunting it like a mermaid!
So I’ve got to bring this walk to a grinding halt. It’s an emergency! Where is the closest pharmacy? Luckily, it was right at the next corner. Those few steps still felt like an eternity to me, though.
I bought my extra strength deodorant and with a few quick strokes—left thigh, right thigh—we were good to go!
My smile found its way back… I was ready again to strut my stuff.
This annual ordeal is the price to pay for having these two magnificent #mermaidthighs.
Now, fall is slowly making its way but don’t be fooled, my ordeal is far from over. As gracious a mermaid as I may be, I’m still going to have to buy 6 pairs of jeans to get through the cold weather, as my thighs wreak their havoc!
Tell me, ladies, how did you manage through your hot summer? I’d love to hear from you!