That evening, I arrived at my girlfriend’s place with a bag of clothes in hand. I had just picked up a few pieces and I had dared to step out of my comfort zone: I had bought not one, but two crop tops! When I got there, I paraded across the imaginary catwalk in her house, watching for her approval. Without hesitating she told me, “This is your best #OOTD of the year!”. So, without further delay, I gathered my courage and I finally made a choice. Let’s let the rolls and stretch marks show.
With each passing kilometer, I started doubting myself as I approached my destination, where everyone would be dressed to impress. They were all going to see everything… my imperfections, my fears, and my insecurities which have been eating me up since I left the house. They’re going to judge me, assess me, look down their noses at me. Did I have it in me to face those critical eyes if I hadn’t even been able to convince myself?
Who did I think I was, wearing a crop top? What nerve!
I mean, did I think I was Beyoncé?!?!?! (okay, sometimes, hehe.)
These were uncharted waters, and I was about to put myself in a particularly vulnerable position by giving all these strangers the right to criticize me. Even though I was only showing a tiny sliver of skin, I felt completely naked.
What did I have to prove and to whom? To these strangers who were going to look me at times with disgust, and at others, with envy? Or maybe only to myself. To prove to myself that I have the right to see myself as pretty and trendy, by wearing this piece of clothing which was, until recently, off-limits to curvy women?
And so, I decided to face those stares, belly out!
But as soon as I got to the party, I practically ran straight to the washroom, bringing my girls with me, and we took position in front of the mirror. Unsure of what to do, I looked at myself…. It’s too late to change, too late to go back. Despite all the confidence I worked up on the drive over, I needed one last “OK.”
And wouldn’t you know it, the compliments started rolling in, one after the other! WOW!
Not only had I just broken a barrier for myself, but I also unintentionally broke a barrier for so many others! By the end of the night, I had more than enough beautiful pics to post on FB and IG!
A few months later, a friend confided in me that when she saw me that night, it gave her the courage to also don a CROP TOP! What’s funny about this story I that I think she is so perfect: slender body, tall and graceful, a nice full butt! Perfect, I’m telling you!
That same friend of mine not only wears crop tops today, I even saw her in a bikini! If that’s not progress…
Real beauty resides in the sum of your imperfections and not in your ability to hide them.